Ambien. No doubt about it.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
