I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
