yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Who died my cat blue again?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
