its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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