i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
