I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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