if you like me you must not know who I am
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
