the new term for farting is butt boxing.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
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My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
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Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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