12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
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