Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
