You work out of a Hotel?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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