that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
