You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
