i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
