people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
