He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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