I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
