i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
