Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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