Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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