So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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