How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Randomize
