i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
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Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
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She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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