she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
