you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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