Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
