And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize