Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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