I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
