come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I will pee on everything he values.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
