Grow some girl-balls and come out already
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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