They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
my poor anus
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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