Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
