You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
