that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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