And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
