She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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