Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
