so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
