Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
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