the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
