Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
