I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
