I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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