Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
