I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
