Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
