If that was your dad, he is hot
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
