I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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