Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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