There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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