For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
