I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
