she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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