He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
