Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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