i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jump out the window naked night went bad
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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