Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize