remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize