I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
