I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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