I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
