p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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