whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
