your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
