yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
